Part 3: Tools for Regulation — Polyvagal-Informed Practices to Build Safety
By Kelley Winters, MS, LPC, EMDR Therapist | Denver Wellness Counseling
Regulation Is the Bridge to Healing
Before you can reprocess trauma through EMDR therapy, your body needs to trust that it can return to calm after activation. Regulation isn’t just about “relaxing” — it’s about teaching your nervous system what safety feels like.
Here at Denver Wellness Counseling, our therapists combine somatic and polyvagal techniques during the preparation phase of EMDR therapy. This alone is stabilizing, and when combined with EMDR trauma reprocessing, it can offer a powerful pathway toward healing.
In this post, we’ll explore Polyvagal-informed tools and techniques that help build that felt sense of safety, strengthen the vagus nerve, and prepare your body for deeper trauma therapy work.
Why We Practice Regulation Before EMDR
When you start trauma therapy in Denver — especially EMDR — it’s normal to want quick relief. But EMDR works best when your nervous system already knows how to regulate itself.
Regulation tools help you:
Stay within your window of tolerance during EMDR sessions
Recover more quickly after activation
Feel safer when processing difficult memories
Integrate changes more deeply after therapy
These are the skills that let your system say:
“Even when hard feelings come up, I can come back to calm.”
Regulation Tools for EMDR Preparation
1. Breathwork for the Vagus Nerve
Breathing is one of the simplest and most powerful ways to influence your nervous system.
When you exhale longer than you inhale, you activate the ventral vagal system, signaling to your body that it’s safe to relax.
Try this:
Inhale through your nose for 4 counts
Hold for 1–2 counts
Exhale through your mouth for 6–8 counts
Repeat for one minute
You can add gentle humming or soft sighing on the exhale — vibration further stimulates the vagus nerve.
Tip from a Denver therapist: Practice this before sessions or after traffic on I-25.
2. Orientation: Finding Safety in the Room
The nervous system feels safest when it knows where it is and what’s happening. This is called orientation — gently noticing your surroundings.
Practice:
Look slowly around the room
Name 3 things you can see
Notice 2 sounds you can hear
Feel your feet on the floor
Remind yourself: “I’m here, and I’m safe right now.”
Orientation reactivates present-moment awareness that trauma often disconnects us from. It helps your body realize:
“The danger is not here anymore.”
3. Grounding Through the Five Senses
When anxiety rises, bring your focus back to your five senses — it’s like pressing “reset” for your body.
5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
You can do this anytime — before therapy, at your desk, or during a difficult conversation. It trains your brain to anchor in safety rather than threat.
4. Co-Regulation: Borrowing Calm from Others
The Polyvagal System learns best through connection. Co-regulation is the process of using another person’s calm nervous system to soothe your own.
This might mean:
Making gentle eye contact with a trusted person
Holding hands or hugging someone safe
Talking to your therapist with a steady rhythm and voice
Sitting quietly with your pet’s steady breathing
Your body begins to recognize that connection can be regulating — not dangerous.
In EMDR therapy, this sense of trust with your therapist helps your nervous system stay grounded during trauma reprocessing.
5. Movement and Stretching
Gentle movement signals your nervous system that you’re not trapped. Trauma often creates immobility — a sense of being frozen or powerless.
Try:
Rolling your shoulders slowly
Stretching your arms overhead
Walking outdoors and matching your breath to your steps
Shaking out tension in your hands or legs
These small movements discharge stored activation and invite the ventral vagal system to return online.
6. Somatic Tracking and Interoception
Somatic tracking is the practice of paying attention to internal sensations — tension, warmth, tingling, heaviness — without judgment.
In therapy, you might be asked:
“What’s happening in your body right now?”
“Can you describe that sensation with curiosity instead of fear?”
This strengthens interoceptive awareness — the ability to feel what’s happening inside you.
It’s a key skill for EMDR therapy, where we follow the body’s responses to past memories in real time.
7. Glimmers: Micro-Moments of Safety
Coined by Deb Dana, glimmers are the opposite of triggers — small moments that spark connection or calm.
Examples include:
The warmth of sunlight on your skin
A kind text from a friend
The smell of coffee in the morning
A song that makes you feel at peace
When you start noticing glimmers, your nervous system begins to expect safety — not danger. This builds resilience before trauma processing even begins.
8. Anchors of Safety for EMDR Preparation
Before starting EMDR, clients build anchors — sensory or emotional resources that bring them back to ventral vagal calm.
Common anchors include:
Visualizing a “safe place” or “peaceful place”
Remembering a time of strength or comfort
Feeling the texture of a grounding object (stone, fabric, pendant)
Using bilateral tapping while focusing on a positive memory
Anchors are used between EMDR sets to regulate and remind the body:
“I can come back to safety.”
9. Daily Micro-Practices for Regulation
You don’t need an hour of meditation to train your nervous system. Try these quick daily “nervous system snacks”:
Two minutes of slow breathing before checking your phone
Stretch breaks between meetings
Humming in the car on your commute
Taking a mindful sip of water
Looking out the window and noticing one beautiful thing
These micro-moments accumulate, teaching your system that safety is available all day long.
Guided Practice: Returning to Ventral Vagal
Take a minute right now.
Find a comfortable position and breathe naturally.
Place a hand over your heart. Feel the rise and fall.
Ask your body: “What does safety feel like?”
Maybe warmth in your chest, steady breath, or soft shoulders.
Let that sensation expand, like gentle light through your body.
When you’re ready, whisper to yourself: “I can return to this state.”
This practice builds the muscle memory of regulation — the very foundation for successful trauma therapy and EMDR work.
When Regulation Feels Hard
If these exercises feel challenging or inconsistent, that’s okay. For trauma survivors, safety often feels foreign. Be patient with your system — it’s learning something new.
With the support of a Polyvagal-informed EMDR therapist in Denver, you can build confidence in your ability to regulate, connect, and eventually reprocess trauma safely.
Takeaway
Before trauma healing comes regulation.
Before EMDR comes safety.
Your body already holds the blueprint for both — it just needs practice remembering.
These Polyvagal tools are not about perfection; they’re about building a relationship of trust with your own nervous system.
If you’re preparing for EMDR therapy in Denver and want guidance on how to regulate before reprocessing, Denver Wellness Counseling offers trauma-informed sessions designed to support every stage of your healing journey.
Next in the Series
In Part 4, we’ll explore Polyvagal Mapping — how to identify and chart your nervous system states so you can recognize what safety, danger, and disconnection feel like in real time.
